heart breaking

What is this feeling I have?
I seem to love you
But other times I seem to loathe you

I can't be without you
Or maybe just without anyone
I think about you all the time
But why do I have this feeling?

I long for your voice
And I would die to hear your laugh
But is this love
Or merely lust?

I thought I finally received a break
Only to see the sun fall

My eyes will not see what they longed to see
My lips will not taste what they longed to taste

Why does life have to be like this
Full of hatred and pain
Instead of joy and bliss